Heartbreak on the 7:10 to Paddington

A routine day except maybe for the lazy rain that forwarns of winter approaching. The train arrives and herded onto and into the carriage I sit down. Despite the number of people the carriage seems mostly empty.

In the opposite row of seats one row down but facing me are a man and woman. He is sitting in the aisle seat. Very smart, maybe late twenties, maybe early thirties. Dashing. I cannot see much of the woman. Not her face, just that she seems to have dark straight hair, a smartly dark utilitarian suit that compliments his and a wedding and engagement ring that sparkels brightly in the soft light of the carriage. It looks very expensive.

I have no understanding why I had to see her face, I just needed to. Maybe it was because at first the male who I assumed was the provider of the rings had his arm draped consoling around her shoulders. Which was why I couldn’t see her. But then he sat back in that way men do when they realise they are tryng to comfort a lost cause.

She was probably mid thirties, no makeup and average looking. I guessed from her dress the sort of efficient woman that sparkles because of the hope she holds inside. On this occassion her face was a picture of abject misery complete with protruding bottom lip. Not pouty. This was not the kind of misery that weeps at a dead cat, or even a lost parent, worse - not even a broken heart. More like a heart that sits inside your chest heavy and oozing dark impulses for you to be alone, laying down and to just close your eyes and never open them again. So instead your mind just steps you through the daily routine because it knows it should not leave you to your own devices. Me and that sort of misery are old acquintenances.

I couldn’t bare to sit there, my mind recalling my correlating memories. So I got up and moved back a couple of seats. A few minutes later I could hear a restrained sobbing. And then after a few more I saw her heading down the carriage. I assumed she was off to the toilet but she might have just got off without the guy. I didn’t see her again.